week one weigh in - DOWN 2 kgs

Yeh I have dropped some weight Woo Hoo
I am proud that I di d but boy do I make it hard for myself!!!!!
I do really connect with what Mish was saying in the Live Feed last night - every time you say no to the 'treat' you take back your power and it grows stronger and stronger each time. I was going YEH thats right. I started pulling myself together and I found I was internally cheering myself on!!! Each time I said no or did something positive I gave myself a little pat on the back and some positive chat. IT did help.

I may have lost 2 kgs but I have been a pig!!! At the end of the last round I was feeling good and strong and confident I could keep going. I was back in the nineties and rocking it. I then decided to err on the side of caution and wanted to keep myself accountable and I figured - hell girlfriend JFDI so I signed up next round... then bit by bit during the gap between the two, I started to slip. I figured I was having a break a rest between rounds and it wouldn't matter coz I knew I had an end point and would jump back on he health wagon. I was safe - the up and coming program would pul me back in line.
So a little slack... and a little slack over here...and my weight only jumped from 99.5 up to 101 and stayed there. ok I can deal with that - kept it steady... and then as preseason started agin instead of getting motivated and tightening up I went the opposite.
What was my mind doing ??? Quick hurry up - better feast before I cant... better cram another cheese and crackers in before I cant blah blah blah
then - Oh My God - how quickly does the guilt and self hatred merry go round start up again and the powerlessness and the doubts creep in. I could not believe myself.
Then corporate box at the World cup opening ceremony is an excuse to binge out at a work morning tea and then the wining and dining at the rugby. I mean what was I thinking!!!! Guess i wast really thinking just cramming food down!!!!
So next thing I jump on the scales Saturday morning [hadnt faced them for 2 weeks] and I ahd jumped to 104 kgs. I mean WHAT THE???
And I deserved every bit of it!!!!! every single gram
And now 4 days later - 1200 cals a day couple of workouts and jumped back down to 102

So yes I am proud I am back on track
Yes I am proud I dropped 2 kgs
but really I cant crow too loud
AND I am so glad I signed up for the next round instead of flying solo - guess I have a way to go before earning my pilots wings.

Cheers for now Go for it everyone and get on with it No more Excuses